The Little Things
by Alverrann
Summary: Small snippets of episodes and missing scenes, tags, and whatever little ideas I feel like putting up. Here they are for your enjoyment. I'll even take requests if you feel so inclined. Just PM me or review. :)
1. Kite Flying

**This is an episode tag for _What Time Does The Balloon Go Up? _**

**I own absolutely nothing, unfortunately. If I ever get ahold of somethin' I'll be sure to let you guys know.**

* * *

When Schultz finally finished his shift, he could hardly keep his eyes open. His feet were throbbing, his body hurt, and his head was pounding above it all, as though keeping time with the events of his rather unfortunate day.

Hochstetter's voice especially tended to give him headaches, and combining that with the Kommandant's whine, the sirens, the dogs _and_ Hogan's lies ... Schultz wondered if he'd be able to fall asleep.

Yet he was tired enough that he knew it wouldn't be difficult.

He fought through a wave of exhaustion as he entered his room and sat on his bed. He didn't bother turning on the lights, merely reaching for his boots and scowling at how difficult it was.

He absently wondered if Hogan ever felt like this at the end of one of his escapades, then remembered that he didn't _want_ to know. Baskets and kites, a tent and a missing allied operative ... It was enough to make _Schultz_ want to escape!

The Colonel seemed to be getting crazier as the war marched on, and Schultz could feel himself being caught in the same predicament.

He didn't pay much attention to where his boots landed, only focusing on pulling his uniform off so he could go to bed.

Yet even as he tugged at the buttons, something caught his attention. A bright color in a dark, colorless room.

He caught it in his comparatively large hand, and reverently held what he now recognized as a small yellow bow. Where had it come from?

There was a string attached to it, prompting him to stand up, turning on the light.

A kite?!

And indeed it was. A pale blue kite, with pretty yellow and orange bows all along the tail. On top of it, there was a note that said in perfect German;

_To Wolfie, From Uncle Hans_

Schultz hadn't even realized that he was crying until his tear hit the note, the ugly words of LeBeau ringing in his ears,

_"Now why would I make a kite for a dirty little Boche kid?"_

Why, indeed.

* * *

**So, I know it's short, and it's supposed to be. I always thought that LeBeau was a little hard on poor Schultz when they're flying the kite. _Especially_ considering that Schultz was just crying because of how touched he was that LeBeau would make a kite for his nephew. **

**C'mon guys, this is WAR. I'd like to think that LeBeau WOULD like to bring a smile to a little boy's face. **


	2. Take Me With You

**Here's another one, yet instead of this one being a missing scene, it's my take on a scene that's totally in the show. It's the ending for _The Flame Grows Higher_, which has always been a favorite of mine. **

**All the spoken lines from when Klink says- "Sergeant, Colonel Hogan"- and on? Those are directly from the show. I own nothing at all. :) **

* * *

Klink read the communique over several times, completely unable to believe his eyes. After that _disaster_ with the fire-not to mention the screaming over the walkie-talkie-he had been certain that General Burkhalter would have his head for the entire fiasco, once again blaming him.

Yet a commendation?

For _Schultz_?

He simply couldn't believe it, and he couldn't believe that Schultz had won it honorably. Honestly, he sometimes wondered if Schultz wasn't bribing the prisoners to make him look good in front of people, for it seemed to happen a ridiculous amount.

Then his gaze lit upon a note that Burkhalter had added for him, and his eyes bugged once more. A combat unit? The Russian Front?! Did the General even remember who Schultz _was_? Surely he did! Surely he was joking!

That would be a death sentence even for a far younger _and_ fitter man.

No. Klink shook his head to physically rid himself of the ramifications. He would not send anyone there, much less a colleague and sometimes friend. Schultz was a father of five, after all. What would his children do?

Hogan was a fool. Making Schultz look that good in front of the Gestapo? What was he thinking?! Did he want the man killed?

No, it couldn't be. The portly sergeant had established quite a rapport with the prisoners since even before he'd been promoted. Surely Hogan didn't want him gone.

Klink scowled, getting ready to rip up the paper, bothered with his Senior POW officer. The infuriating man had not been forthcoming when answering questions about the fire, and Sergeant Schultz had agreed with him every step of the way, declaring and repeating several times that he knew nothing.

Well, _something_ had happened, and Klink was tired of being left out of the happenings in his own camp-

He paused suddenly in his actions, his frown quivering as a thought struck him. Perhaps there was a way to get them to tell him, or at least get _back_ at them ...

A positively diabolical smile lit his face at the ramifications. Yes. It just might work ...

"Langenscheidt!" He bellowed, and the corporal entered almost instantly from where he had been guarding the door. "Bring me Sergeant Schultz and Colonel Hogan this instant!"

"Jawohl, Herr kommandant!" The younger man saluted and left rapidly, leaving Klink to think his plan over, tapping the communique against the desk as he did so.

He absently wondered how the smug American would react to the news. He felt as though he could guess what Schultz would do, but hoped that Hogan would at _least_ be blindsided by the news. Otherwise he wouldn't know how to get them right where he wanted them ... so to speak.

He didn't have long to wait though, as the American was barging through his door moments later without so much as a knock, Schultz puffing at his heels.

"You wanted to see us, Kommandant?"

"Yes." He stood smoothly, holding the paper slightly tilted away from them, making certain that the nosy American couldn't read it before he announced it (again). "Sergeant, Colonel Hogan, I have called you to hear a special communication by General Burkhalter."

"But- but, but- but I have done nothing!" Schultz immediately spluttered, panicked, "I am not _guilty_!"

"You haven't heard it yet!" He scowled for good measure at the blubbering Sergeant, always annoyed at the man's propensity to declare his innocence and idiocy when Klink was attempting to be dramatic. "At the suggestion of the Gestapo, Sergeant Schultz is hereby commended for efficiency in the performance of his duty."

"But I'm not guilty!" Schultz repeated it, and Klink saw Hogan grin slightly as he intervened,

"Of course you are, Schultz! Guilty of efficiency in guarding us while we were fighting the fire!"

Realization began dawning on Schultz's face, rippling his cheeks with slight relief before Klink interrupted, feeling only a little bad for having to scare him again, "Just a moment, the General has also added a note to me! _'Shouldn't a good man like Sergeant Schultz be transferred to a combat unit? I leave it to your discretion'_ …" He paused for effect, gauged the reactions of the men before him as he grinned quite happily, "More good news, eh Schultz?"

Hogan's eyes went wide for a split second, with shock and another emotion that Klink couldn't define, then narrowed to watch Schultz. His smile never left his face, though, looking as smug as ever.

There was an almost imperceptible pause as the sergeant took a breath, his eyes watering as he replied in a small voice, "I'm so happy, ... I could cry."

A little bubble of guilt popped in Klink's heart at the expression on his emotional sergeant's face. Truly the General was mad to think of sending _him_ to that immediate death. Yet Klink held his ground, refusing to back down or stop smiling.

Klink waited to see Hogan defend him, or perhaps ask if the General was feeling well. He waited.

Yet he was now the one to be shocked and horrified as the American grinned fully and flippantly, "Good luck, Schultz! Some of those new panzer units are fun, especially at the Russian Front." The American's gaze never left the sergeant as he finished with twinkling eyes, "I understand that they have a tank in your size now!"

"Please, Colonel Hogan!" Schultz looked as though he would promptly be needing to use the trash bin by Klink's desk.

Klink was horrified, however. Whatever he had expected his prisoner to do, it hadn't been this. This was betrayal! Klink had planned on stringing them out a little as his Sergeant begged not to go and the American inexplicably defended him. ... Hogan _always_ defended him!

But this?

He'd recently learned the expression from Hogan, "to kick a man when he is down," but never had he seen it so ruthlessly applied. It was a fact that Hogan and his men created many problems. Yet it was also a fact that it was (for some reason) a lot calmer when Schultz was around.

"You'd like to see him out of here wouldn't you, Hogan?" He moved forward swiftly, unable to believe that the American could be so flippant with another man's life, enemy or not.

"Well, I- I wouldn't-" The Colonel began, obviously beginning to backtrack.

"So you can make a shambles of our famous discipline here at Stalag XIII!" Klink said the words automatically, as it was something he always referred to. But he couldn't believe that the man would so callously dismiss the life of Schultz.

It was _Schultz_, of course, but he was a good man! Klink had thought that they were friends in their own way, and yet now he could see that truly, all _was_ fair in love and war.

"it's uncanny the way he gets into a man's mind!" Hogan's tone had gone up, and Klink felt it grate against his nerves.

How he could be so open about his obvious dismissal of Schultz's life?!

"Hogan, you are an open book to me!" He said it, trying to put meaning behind it, but found that he couldn't. It came out as though he supposed he knew everything about the American Colonel, yet he had just discovered that he really knew nothing. "I'm sorry Sergeant Schultz, you cannot be transferred. We need you here."

At least Schultz was happy, his face lighting up with a ready smile even as Hogan muttered.

"Tough luck, Schultz."

He looked at them both for a moment longer before quickly saluting, unable to stand the tension that had filled the room. "Dis-missed!"

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!" The smile left Schultz's face then as he promptly returned the salute, with Hogan repeating it sloppily. Then the slimy American pranced out as though he hadn't just thrown his friend under a car knowing that neither would survive.

Klink caught Schultz's eye as the sergeant closed the door, and the man made a face, as if he were hiding something, and were terrified that Klink knew it.

But Klink didn't know. He didn't understand at all.

He had thought that he'd understood the relationship between his Senior POW and his Sergeant of the Guard ... but it was now obvious that he didn't. It was easy to forget sometimes, but Hogan really _was_ the enemy.

He distantly heard the door close through his cracked window, and could hear the two of them leaving. He was ready to forget them both as he began to rip the note from Burkhalter, only to pause as the sergeant spoke quietly.

"Colonel Hogan, ... I saw what you did." So Schultz _had_ noticed. Klink had almost been afraid that he hadn't, and yet he felt worse for Schultz now. Surely the poor man must feel as though he lost a friend, just as Klink had fe- "Danke."

The Kommandant's waterfall of thoughts halted with that one word, the sincerity and the smile both bleeding through to confuse him. He didn't even have time to wonder why Schultz would _thank_ Hogan after what he'd done when the American replied,

"Schultz, I dunno how you'd get through this war without me." Hogan's voice was smiling as well, and sounded completely genuine, deepening Klink's frown.

"I don't know." Schultz agreed with a sigh, even as Klink began to go over their previous conversation in his mind, scouring for something he'd apparently missed. "... Colonel Hogan, if you ever escape …"

"Yeah, Schultz?" Hogan sounded amused, and Klink heard a fondness in his voice that reminded him of the American's shocked look at his earlier announcement to them both.

"Be a good fellow, and take me with you." The sentiment was simple and sincere, and Klink heard a clear laugh in reply, swallowing the response from the Colonel.

Klink could almost feel the emotion in the air as the two of them moved out of hearing range, and sat at his desk in shock, attempting to understand what had happened.

It was only moments later when the answer hit him, and a smile twitched at his lips.

He'd been played again.

And for the first time, ... he didn't mind.

* * *

**So, this turned out much longer than the first one, but I hope you liked it. I just love that scene so much, and I guess without the laugh track, it could be a lot more serious.**

**Then again, so could a lot of the show. **

**Poor Schultz. He gets so emotionally abused so often, that I love those moments when the guys stick up for him. ... Hence these two chapters ... I think they stick up for him a lot. :)**

**'Til next time, guys. Pass all suggestions my way, please. **


	3. Basic Trousers

**This is a missing scene from _You Look Better In Basic Black_, or alternatively, _The One Where They Dress In Drag_. (As if Newkirk doesn't do that all the time. Schultz even did it once! :)**

**It's after they've escaped, still dressed as women. How _did_ the trip back to camp go?**

* * *

If there was one thing that Newkirk couldn't abide about skirts, it was how easily they seemed to catch on everything. He couldn't understand how women did it!

On the other hand, most women wouldn't be sneaking through the woods in high heels, trying to get back to a prison camp. The truck had taken them out pretty far, and Newkirk couldn't walk very fast in this getup.

Luckily his companions were suffering from the same difficulty.

"Good in basic black my eye!" He muttered as he forged through another snag. "I look better in basic trousers!"

"At least _you_ are not so short!" LeBeau griped from behind him, "The branches are getting caught in my wig! How can women stand to have such long hair?!"

They had agreed after leaving the truck to wear their disguises all the way back to the camp. Firstly, because they hadn't brought anything to change into (quite an oversight). And second, because that way they could probably make up some story if they were caught.

At the very least, no one would expect much of a fight.

The captain and his men certainly hadn't.

"You have to admit, though, it's a pretty beautiful design flaw." Hogan said from up front, and Newkirk turned his chuckle into a cough as his colonel stumbled into a tree, wobbly on his heels.

The American turned to give him a dirty glance, but the blonde wig made it difficult to take the man seriously. "It certainly brings out the color of your eyes, Gov." Newkirk fluttered his eyelashes at his superior and heard a snort in return before Hogan continued onward.

"Well, at least the only ones who know will be Schultz and Carter." LeBeau offered from the back once more. "Kinch would never let us hear the end of it."

"Don't tell me you're trusting Carter and Schultz not to tell anyone!" Hogan looked over his shoulder with a twinkle in his eyes.

"We already tol' Carter what would 'appen to 'im if 'e opened 'is ruddy mouth!" Newkirk reminded him, but then sighed in defeat. "But wiv ol' Schultzie, it's probably all over the camp."

"If they say one word to me, I will never cook breakfast again!" LeBeau declared.

"Now LeBeau, there's no need to be self sacrificial." Hogan forged onward, tearing his skirt a little on a small branch. "I'm sure that Schultz went to Carter or Kinch, anyway, and I_ highly_ doubt they immediately announced it to the barracks."

"Wait a tic, won' Private Nanowski know? You said 'e made the wigs!" Newkirk couldn't stop his voice from climbing, but managed to close his mouth at his Colonel's look.

"Oh mon- that is the _last_ thing that we need." LeBeau moaned dramatically from behind, and Newkirk reflected that he was acting more feminine now than he had been before. "Now the whole camp will know!"

"Olsen'll be a bloody menace!" Newkirk was already anticipating the ridicule. He'd played parts before, but for some reason, there was a big difference between an old woman and a young one. "An' it'll be a miracle if Ames can keep 'is flippin' mouth shut!"

"All right, pipe down, fellas." The colonel stopped to address them, and Newkirk unconsciously straightened his back, seeing LeBeau do the same in his peripheral vision. "So maybe the whole camp _will_ know. But this was necessary, and we've done good work tonight."

The American's tone was serious, and there was a hint of pride in his eyes that always warmed the Brit up, whether he wanted it to or not.

"I would rather blow up a bridge." LeBeau's scowl was audible, but he seemed to have calmed a little. "It is hard to feel like a hero when I am wearing women's clothing!"

"If women can do it, why can't we?" Hogan grinned, and Newkirk decided that he didn't even want to go into a reasonable answer to that question, instead shrugging at LeBeau.

"At least you finally 'ave an excuse to wear high heels."

The Frenchman immediately bristled, his face turning red behind the makeup, "Well _you_ finally have-!"

"And let's not forget the people we saved today, either." Hogan's voice broke in, a curious tone lining it, as though he knew something that Newkirk didn't. "I'm sure those three ... young, _beautiful_ women will be _eternally_ grateful. We did save their lives, after all."

Newkirk shared a look with LeBeau, and the Frenchman blinked slowly, giving full view of his eyeshadow. Finally he spoke, and it was with his usual fervency. "The short one is mine."

"Agreed." Newkirk nodded, now feeling that when his fellow prisoners realized what they'd gained for their loss of dignity, they'd be jealous.

And if they weren't? Well. They didn't know what they were missing.

"Now, let's not keep the ladies waiting." Hogan grinned at their exchange before turning to continue the trek back to camp.

"Right behind you, Gov." Newkirk began to follow, feeling like a knight in shining armour rather than an allied prisoner dressed in drag right at that moment.

Both he and the colonel stopped short at LeBeau's cry. "Wait a moment!"

"LeBeau?" Hogan's eyebrows were raised, and Newkirk could only stare at the Frenchman, who was bent double, his hands reaching down to fumble with his skirt.

"You all right, Louis?"

"My stockings are falling down!"

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**I hope you enjoyed it! This was a request from MurdockianQueen, who loves this episode. I'll admit, the episode always made me cringe a little, but I love these guys. **

**As always, leave a review, and let me know if you'd like to see any specific scene yourself!**


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